Avoiding Comparison Culture
This article was published first in Virginia Parks and Recreation Magazine, Summer 2024.
In one of my previous roles, I was talking to a co-worker (griping, really) about how some neighboring jurisdictions were doing all these really cool things and had all this money and so on and so forth. When I was done, they looked at me and said “you know, comparison is the thief of joy.” Man, that hit me like a ton of bricks.
Comparison culture refers to our collective tendency to compare ourselves to others in various aspects of life, anything from appearance to achievements to really cool park amenities that aren’t in your park. As you can imagine (and maybe you’ve felt it yourself), it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and dissatisfaction with what you’ve got going on in your own life. To make matters worse, this is perpetuated by social media, advertising, and a society that emphasizes competition so heavily that we find ourselves constantly seeking external validation.
This is something I struggle with more than I care to admit and it’s both personal and professional. That said, the conversation I had with my former co-worker by no means eliminated the envy and jealousy I was feeling at the time, nor did it prevent them rearing their ugly heads again. It did, however, give me an opportunity to be a little more introspective when those feelings would and continue to arise. Coupled with that sage advice, I started looking up some strategies to help cope with the feelings. While I don’t use all of them, the following are a sampling of concepts that may work for you:
- Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during moments of self-doubt. Recognize and celebrate the unique qualities and experiences that make you who you are. Remember why you got into a career of public service and how impactful your work is.
- Focus on personal growth: Set realistic but meaningful goals and measure progress based on your own journey, not that of others. Turn those goals into small, manageable steps to better track progress. Most importantly, celebrate the incremental win.
- Cultivate gratitude: Regularly reflect on the positive aspects of your life and acknowledge your accomplishments. Focus on appreciating what you have rather than what you don’t. Start each day with a fresh slate of grace.
- Limit social media use: Be mindful of how much time you spend on social platforms and the impact they have on your self-esteem. When possible, unfollow accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy or envy. I know this is extremely hard to do, especially when we rely so much on social media for news, information, and events.
- Surround yourself with positive influences: Spend time with supportive friends and mentors or mentees who uplift and inspire you. Find people who celebrate you regardless of your achievements.
- Practice mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and avoid getting caught up in comparison thoughts by practicing mindfulness techniques. Understand your strengths and weaknesses to build resilience. Be introspective and self-reflective as much as possible.
- Set boundaries and shift perspective: Establish clear boundaries to protect your mental and emotional well-being, especially in situations where comparison is prevalent. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on learning from them and celebrating their successes. After all, a high tide raises all ships.
- Engage in activities that bring you joy: Invest time in hobbies and pursuits that make you happy and fulfill you. We’re in the business of providing recreational programs and vibrant parks for our communities so it’s important that we take advantage of those things, too.
In addition to these strategies, VRPS is working to shine light on the mental health and wellness of park and recreation professionals through an initiative called “I Play Too.” Visit https://www.vrps.com/iplay-too to see employer toolkits, various resources, and upcoming events, as well as a member survey to help the Society better understand the state of our members’ mental health.