river with oxbow

Avoiding Comparison Culture

This article was published first in Virginia Parks and Recreation Magazine, Summer 2024.

In one of my previous roles, I was talking to a co-worker (griping, really) about how some neighboring jurisdictions were doing all these really cool things and had all this money and so on and so forth. When I was done, they looked at me and said “you know, comparison is the thief of joy.” Man, that hit me like a ton of bricks.

Comparison culture refers to our collective tendency to compare ourselves to others in various aspects of life, anything from appearance to achievements to really cool park amenities that aren’t in your park. As you can imagine (and maybe you’ve felt it yourself), it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and dissatisfaction with what you’ve got going on in your own life. To make matters worse, this is perpetuated by social media, advertising, and a society that emphasizes competition so heavily that we find ourselves constantly seeking external validation.

This is something I struggle with more than I care to admit and it’s both personal and professional. That said, the conversation I had with my former co-worker by no means eliminated the envy and jealousy I was feeling at the time, nor did it prevent them rearing their ugly heads again. It did, however, give me an opportunity to be a little more introspective when those feelings would and continue to arise. Coupled with that sage advice, I started looking up some strategies to help cope with the feelings. While I don’t use all of them, the following are a sampling of concepts that may work for you:

In addition to these strategies, VRPS is working to shine light on the mental health and wellness of park and recreation professionals through an initiative called “I Play Too.” Visit https://www.vrps.com/iplay-too to see employer toolkits, various resources, and upcoming events, as well as a member survey to help the Society better understand the state of our members’ mental health.